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Question: Poem: Love This Girl!?
She is at my fingertips, but slipping
I love her with all I have, because she won't let me in
I could give her my very essence
she know that to many eve's have gotten my forbidden

She is all I could imagine and more
but she has only once opened the door
I beat for her breath, and pulse for her touch
she is to busy, im a whore, and such

this is my heart that bleeds for my dream weaver
God why!? I just want her arms wrapped around me
I need her sleeping head on my cradle shoulder
The sheets are a barrier to thick

I thank that she will not take my point to receive
for my after lies are something she is to pure to believe
I must settle my loins before she is mine forever
At this stage a task to hard, impossible endeavor

I am here at her apartment, and she knows what is next
Her eyes give her essence away, but she will not give in
the only one I've met that my tempter won't reduce to tempting
I miss her my jennifer, my soul, my impossible

I could be her all as one night allowed
I hope for the lightning to strike once more
Good fortune can only truly smile once
For twice is the ultimate abyss between us
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Very good free verse but be careful because in a few places you tell too much

"The sheets are a barrier too thick" - very good image!.

You do have a few cliches in here: "she is all I could imagine and more" find a different new way of saying this!.

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It was ok!. Not really my style!. Www@QuestionHome@Com