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Question: Is my poetry good!? please tell me!?
its called what you did to me
i made it the other night
tell me what you think

Feel my heart, Hear me cry!.
With my mind, I want to die!.
Without my mind, I am lost,
Everywhere, I see white frost!.
I feel I’m swimming, A sea of black!.
And all I want, Is to come back!.
My mind is spinning, Forget the toll!.
But I still don’t believe, That I lost control!.
Weren’t you the one, Who made me like this!.
It was your cold lips, That I longed to kiss!.
But as I stand, Upon this ledge!.
I wonder how, I went off the edge!.
There is no reasons, For what you did to me!.
You hit me hard, I was too blind to see!.
Everyday, I swallow the blood!.
And ask myself why, I ended in the mud!.
Again and again, The answer stays the same!.
For my heart, Wouldn’t take shame!.
So here I am, What should I do!.
You got me feeling, Worse than blue!.
After all those messages, On your phone!.
Its not my fault, I wouldn’t leave you alone!.
All my friends, Said to beware!.
But I was flying, To high in the air!.
Right after that, You brought me down!.
And now I feel like I should drown!.
So now I’m here, I let out!.
A blood curdling scream, which ends in a shout!.
Now I have no choice, I have lost the plot!.
I pick it up and, Miss the spot!.
I fall to the ground, All I can do is scream!.
I fell asleep and now I dream!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This becomes difficult to read after a while!. The rhyming couplets do not flow from one to the other, but stand individually!. The result is that it is more like a list of upsets than poem!.
also, you have too much material here!. You would find it much more effective if you took the best parts to make a few smaller poems out of them!. You could probably make 4 or 5 much better poems out of what you are now showing!. You just have to set them free!.
GL :)Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good sense and flow!.
A tragic experience and dream!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A bit black for my taste!. But a good effort!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

good!Www@QuestionHome@Com