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Question: Just wanted some opinions of my poem!.!.!.thanks!?
One More Day
All I ask for is one more day,
One more day that the pain can’t touch me,
The tears can’t find me!.
Just one more day to hear your voice,
And know that you’re safe!.
I want one more day to say I’m sorry!.
For not being there to save your life,
Like you saved mine so many years ago!.
If it weren’t for you I wouldn’t be here today!.
All I want is one more day,
To talk to you, to hug you tight!.
To know you’re happy and you’re alright!.
Just one more day to hang with you,
To feel complete with no tears in sight!.
Is one more day so much to ask!?
What about an hour or even a moment!?
Hell I’d settle for just a glimpse,
Of you up there in paradise!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow, love the emotions attached to this poem!. Loved the line 'one more day that the pain can't touch me, the tears can't find me!.' brilliant! Consider revising the line 'is one more day so much to ask!? what about an hour or even a moment!?' it comes out a little sharp (due to word choice and order), try smoothing it out so it works better with the lines above it!.
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beautiful touching Www@QuestionHome@Com
too emotionalWww@QuestionHome@Com
Really nice & like the way you ended it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is really great!. I love it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
like it completelyWww@QuestionHome@Com
how come the third verse is the only one that rhymes or was that unintentional!?Www@QuestionHome@Com
i love it!. good job!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
i lovee itt! you're like really good at it!. (: keep it up!Www@QuestionHome@Com