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Question: Will you comment on this re-worked nonet!?
I caught a breeze and let it softly
Dance beneath my cape of autumn
Red and vibrant gold until
It carried me along
Just far enough to
Leave me breathless
In spinning
Joyful
DanceWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I spin with you!.


But I can't dance!

Very nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love, you've done wonderful work here, but I doubt this form stretches your considerable gifts!. I enjoy these types of things occasionally, and consider them to be learning opportunities, especially as regards the easy ornaments, although a more 'difficult' trope must be invoked to focus your nonet in addition to the felicities of assonance and alliteration!. Use these, enjoy them for what you can learn from them, but keep stretching!.!.!. young lady, you have real talent!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Softly, the drips of water spin in bubbles of colors! And dewdrops are formed, breathing in a joyful dance!. Wow! Your poem makes my mind etches the wounded embers of loveliness and life pulsates a dream!. Congratulations!. It hits me in the guts, visceral yet breathless in tender abandon!. Wow! It is like dreaming dreams and chasing rainbows!.

Good luck to you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sin, follow your heart when you write as you have here!. If you are happy with it you don't need our critique!. Continue to feel free to express yourself with words and images that mean something to you!.
If it pleases you it will please a lot of others!. I liked this very much!. Thank you for sharing it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Sin, not to be harsh, but I wouldn't bother with this sort of stuff!.!.!.you're capable of much more!. As for EP's assessment, don't be part of the blind leading the blind club!. At the moment you can see!.!.!.don't let others cloud your vision (or your judgement)!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Now you have a coherent image and correct meter!. Next trick: Try not to tell us everything; use a metaphor or a reference to make us think about your poem once we have reached the final period!.

You are progressing nicely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Elaine's metaphor comment has merit but the simplicity of this in this form is just delightful as you penned!. The poet's prerogative!. My compliments!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

You are a leaf, lifted and lilted, red and vibrant gold!. This is very lovely!. I see you!. Thank you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I smile as I read, and have no problems with your nonet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Nice Www@QuestionHome@Com