Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of this... poem I guess you could call it?


Question: What do you think of this!.!.!. poem I guess you could call it!?
my dreams are too big, this town too small
i beg and i plead, you just walk down the hall
slammin' doors on what you know is right
i guess i'll keep the stars just in sight
one of these days i'll make you wish
wish you'd had a hold on this

as that big texas sky fades in the rearview
i hope you know, i'm thinkin' of you
everything you ever said or did
right now, is my oxygen
fueling my drive
the stars in my eyes
slammin' doors turned out to be alright





I know, I'm not that good of a writer!. I just wanted to see what kind of tips people could give me!. So!.!.!. have any advice on how to improve!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think the poem is nice!.
It's inspirational, I must say!.

Though, it would sound much better if the syllables coincided!.
Like
your syllable count approximately is

9
11
9
9
8
7

11
9
9
7
4
5
9

If you could make it sort of a 9-11-9-11 pattern, it would sound much better!

Hope I helped!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like you poem!! I think you have a great start and you should continue to express feelings through poetry!. To make your poem less confusing add punctuation!. A good title for your poem would be, Closed!.Www@QuestionHome@Com