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Question: Poem about Alcoholism for contest!?
i'm sending this in for a contest so I want to know if its good or not!

its about my dad who is an alcoholic

Sunday,
Go to Church,
dressed up nice!.
your not here, your working!.
You come home
You reach for it
but I tell you
"Kiss That Bottle Goodbye"

Monday,
Wake up
Go to school
fake a cough, I come home
I suddenly realize
Its empty
I tell you, to that face
"You have a problem"

Tuesday,
I come home,
Your crying,
inside dying, slowly
I hug you
never letting go,
You tell me
"Your getting help"

2 weeks later,
almost better,
I wait for you
by the door, its open
Dad come home,
I miss you so,
I know it was hard
to let the bottle go!.!.!.!.

thanks!

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
See!? I am checking it out!.
It is very good!. There are couple of subtle changes that could be made, but I don't really want to rake over such a personal piece in a public forum!.
If you do not get all the response you might like here, then you can mail me!. But give this place a chance first!.
GL with the contest:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

pretty good,
some correction need to be made-

I tell you, to your face
that you have a problem

Your crying,
inside slowly dying
I hug you
never letting go
you tell me
your "getting help"

two weeks later,
almost better
I wait for you by the open door


good luckWww@QuestionHome@Com

If you are in the 3/4th grade, yes it is OK!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.but if not, Gee!.!.!.!.!.I hate to hurt people's feelings, but this poem needs mucho mucho (alot alot) of help!!!!!
Sorry(: Www@QuestionHome@Com

it is goodWww@QuestionHome@Com