Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> What do you think of my short poem. ?? thankyou everyone.?


Question: What do you think of my short poem!. !?!? thankyou everyone!.!?
Starting fresh
The memories stay
Effecting my life
In every possible way

I found help
Relieving my pain
It vanished completely
Too hard to explain

My life appearing simple
But far from the truth
Thinking of my loss
Loosing my youth!.


i'm 15 and i wrote this to thank a councillor who helped me start fresh!. thankyou!.

Oh and can you tell me if it all makes sense!.


By the way, the last part, i was trying to explain that me letting a guy touch me made me loose the unexperinced sense of my life!. please tell me if it sounds okay and makes snese!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
yes it does!.!.and its pretty good for a 15 year old!.!.impressive!.!.except for the spellings!.!.i think you meant affecting instead of effecting in the third line!.!.!.and losing your youth not loosing in the lastWww@QuestionHome@Com

it makes perfect sense if you ask me!. i love to write, but when i write nothing ever makes sense!. your poem defiantly makes sense!. its very deep and touchingWww@QuestionHome@Com

It shoudl be affecting not effecting
and losing not loosing

But its really good!. You are a good poet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats sooooooo cool! it totally makes sense its great! i think u should write more! i would love to hear if u have any more!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I would give this a!.!.!. 5!.
Other than that, it was okay, but I thought it could have been a lot better!.
Like, I didn't really feel like you felt you were in a new day, or that you were starting fresh!.
And there are lacks of POINTS!. I said you lacked points in your other poem, and what I mean by points is!.!.!.
Let's say you're in a debate, debating on why today is a good day!. You can't just say "because it is a good day, and it is fun" or something!. You need to say!.!.!. "because today I am the youngest I will ever be for the rest of my life!." or "Everything is going perfect, nothing will go wrong, I have that feeling" or something!.

Other than criticism, here's my perspective on what you meant:

The first part, I think you meant that you were having a new start, but still you have memories of the past!.

The second part, I assume you're talking about the counselor only because you talked about her!. If you didn't talk about your counselor, I would have guessed you meant!.!.!. someway you found help forgetting about the past!.

The third part, I would assume that you meant you feel like time is going by fast, and you're losing your youth, and growing up too fast!. I wouldn't guess anything about a "guy" or anything!.


Anyway, I think you did pretty good, and I really like hearing your poems :)) You have great ideas!Www@QuestionHome@Com