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Question: Will you comment on my poem "Void"!?
Void cancelled simply annulled, endless aching unconsoled!.
Life without you cause without reason, touch without sense time without season!.
I face life now facing a cancerous sore, a sordid parasite that eats at my core!.
All that makes me whole all I hold deep within, leaving me lifeless or at least not living!.
A shallow face, anguished and marred, and empty space scaled and scarred!.
Sweetly abiding to a cynical charade, secretly hiding behind a fictitious facade!.
Still lost within this heart of glass, this fragile and yet unfeeling mass!.
Lies the remain of a loved that glowed, the gift to you I once bestowed!.
But honor and pride now bereaved, by your love for me so
misconceived!. Ripped from my inner depths impeding, mind and body and spirit bleeding!.
Now crush to sand from the ruthless hand, a cold stare just can't understand!. I feel that somehow, somehow I'm dying, at least my soul and all that's underlying!.
A simple void is what I've become the hollow sphere on a pendulum
swinging back and forth, emotion to emotion, never once stopping
nor slowing the motion!.
No reason, no answer, no justification, the creation of a sterile
imagination!.
Just passing through time as time passes me, merely a nothing
nothing merely left to be!. Sightless and soundless, unseen and
unheard!. Mindless and boundless obscure and absurd!. All
empathy lying ungraced unemployed I live my life dying
unembraced a void!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow!!! Great!. I've done the unpardonable, I've changed your poem a little!. A good title is needed to set up the poem!. Godspeed!.

The void cancelled, simply annulled,
endless aching comes unconsoled!.
Life without cause without its rightful reason,
touch without sense, time without season!.

My life now consummed by a cancerous sore,
a sordid parasite that eats at my core!.
What made me whole, lies not within,
leaving me lifeless wondering my sin!.

A shallow face, anguished and marred,
an empty space, scaled and scarred!.
Sweetly abiding, this comical charade,
secretly hiding within a lifeless parade!.

Still lost within this heart of glass,
this fragile and feeling, troubled mass!.
Lies what remains of life that once glowed,
my gifts to you, I once humbly bestowed!.

But honor and pride now bereaved,
was my love for you so misconceived!.
Ripped from my depths my heart impeding,
left my mind and soul endlessly bleeding!.

Now crushed to sand by your ruthless hand,
a cold stare, only the Gods can understand!.
I feel that somehow, somehow I'm dying,
at least my soul is still underlying!.

A simple void is what I've become,
the hollow sphere of a true pendulum,
swinging back and forth, emotion to emotion,
never once stopping nor slowing its comotion!.

No reason, no answer, no justification,
only the wonderings of my imagination!.
Just passing through time as time passes by,
only nothing, nothing consoles my cry!.

Sightless and soundless, unseen and unheard!.
Mindless and boundless, obscure and absurd!.
All empathy lying ungraced, unemployed!.
I live my heartless life unembracing your void!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Thats really good!.
The unemployment ending was kind of confusing, the poem is about lost love-based on an ex!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Butterfly, butterfly, I have just read your poem,
And down life's weary road we must all roam,
With that all said and when the end is in sight,
We must trust in the Lord with all of our might!.

No one shall escape, we all shall face death,
But before we all go we must first pass the test,
There is only one answer, not three or not four,
Be certain you know it when death opens your door!.

I can only advise, where the answer is found,
To make sure your judgment is perfect and sound,
Pick up your Bible, go to John 3:16,
You will find the greatest love story anyone has seen!.

So now you know the answer when you take your test,
And can now be assured when you go to your rest,
Now if I get there first, that will be just fine,
Cause I know that everyone else, will be close behind!.



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