A poem, some sounds drive men from their senses, comments and critique?

Position:Home>Poetry> A poem, some sounds drive men from their senses, comments and critique?

Question:

A DISTANT DRUM

A rum-tum-tum, a rum-tum-tum,
And how shall our destiny come
To the beat of a distant drum!?

When a call is heard from afar
A nation awakens to war
To the beat of a distant drum!.

A nation awakens to war
To plot its course by a star
And how shall our destiny come!?

No longer remain where we are
We follow that distant drum
A rum-tum-tum, a rum-tum-tum!

A war calls our sons afar
To the beat of a distant drum,
And how shall our destiny come!?
A rum-tum-tum, a rum-tum-tum!
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I find myself liking this!. The form I have forgotten but the repetition suits this!. My only mild critique would be the line 'to plot its course by a star', to me seemed not right or I am interpreting it wrong!. Overall, very nice!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I have read your stuff on here before and I think you are a good poet!. This one however just doesn't work for me!. I like the premise,the theme and the form (reminds me of a villanelle, but it's not quite that)!. But I find that the same end rhyme for 10 out of the 16 lines, and the sound effects, become a little annoying!. Sorry to be negative, but keep writing; I usually like your work!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good job! It shows the uncertainty of a nation but the detemination to fight on, but I thought that more emphasis could be paid to this determination right!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

Those distant snare drums scare the hell out me!.!.!.and a good poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com