Position:Home>Poetry> Im 13 this is my christianity poem(look below)?
Question: Im 13 this is my christianity poem(look below)!?
Gods and excuse
he's just a use
People use him for there guilt
sit in bed and pray under there quilts
to a mystic being who lives in the sky
choose if people live or die
if god makes humans then whys he make humans with problems
people ignore that and look at his holiness
it is like he cannot make mistakes
the perfect human in the heavenly gates
the heavenly gates are the gates to hell
where god and jesus always dwell
and im not just saying this just for christians
im sayin it for every bloody religion
its killing us all
it will never fall
the parents force it on boys and girls
and picture a world of peace
what will never happen if god still lives
dont take it as an insult
my influences are dead kennedys and sex pistols and public image lmtdWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
it's ok, you just need to make it more easy to read, try to focus more on imagery than rhyming!. unless it has to rhyme!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Is this what "poetry" has become!!?
That's just sad!.!.!.
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.actually I'm not talking about your views ['cus I respect them, even if I don't agree with them],
I'm talking about the whole text just being considered a "poem" !.!.!.there's more to a poem than just rhymes here and there!.
!.!.!.oh, and I also agree with "Stephen R"Www@QuestionHome@Com
Don't get mad at people for defending what they believe!. If you're free to say what you want, they can too!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think its a good poem for you only being 13!. Maybe check on your grammar and punctuation (I know, yuck!. Right!? LOL) A good poem evokes thought and you succeeded in that!. A good judge of poetry looks at how the poem flows and should be completely unbiased of it!. I have a feeling some of the people who answered before this let that get in the way!. Just for reference, I'm a Christian!. I hope you have someone or something to believe in!. The world is a hard place to be in if you feel like this and are alone!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I really do respect your views, even though i am a christian myself!. However, religion is a very hard thing to understand, but as a christian I think that God lets us have choice, and has different paths for us to follow depending on the choices we make!. I do like the poem, and I think it has some really valid points, but I think it could be a little less offensive!. Its amazing though for a 13 year old!. I understand everything you talk about though, but will always stand by my religion, as most bad things in the world are actually because on human choices!. God will not help us if we will not try and help ourselves!.
I hope you become a famous poet or something :)
good luck x Www@QuestionHome@Com