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Question: Would you care to comment on a poetic observation!?
Illusion
by C!.S!. Scotkin


Cats lay quiet
in puddles of moonlight
and warm heavy air!.
They slip into night’s
dark cover, innocently
stalking innocent prey,
pounce
on a catnip mouse
destroy, tear, savage!.

What an illusion,
Domestication!.



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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Savage can be used as a 'verb', to me fine!. Two innocents together though could use some help!. Puddles of moonlight to me meant like a reflective surface as in tile!.!.!.nice image!. Great last two lines!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like the ideas you have here!. I really like the image of puddles of moonlight!. But cats sleeping in them (I presume they're puddles of water reflecting the moon) doesn't seem to make sense!.

You use the word innocent twice in a row in the middle of the poem, so I would get rid of the first use!. An innocent stalker seems like a contradiction; maybe you could use the word "silently" instead!.

In the third to last line, destroy and tear are verbs, but savage is a noun!. I would change that noun to a verb, and I would also substitute "tear" for a less common word!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think that's why we are so fond of cats; they are the little semi savages who live within, but also at the edges of our civilisation!. They, and dogs are a constant reminder of our evolutionary roots!.

Its a very good poem; I might consider adding a final, short stanza about kitty returning their spoils for the owner to find in the morning!. Its very true to life and may sort of implicate humanity in what they have become; the "Illusion" of domesticity as you so nicely put!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

As a human who is "owned" by several cats, I can identify with this observation of feline behavior!.

Have you noticed how much less playful cats are when it is time for them to eat!?

Mealtime is my main interaction with our cats, in fact they seem to develop an appetite the minute I drive up to the house!.
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Fully descriptive in your own unique style; simple words, smooth flow!. and a message ( in the end)!. Natural phenomenon which could be drawn to human level!. A person may become a prey, as the predator inside his/her best friend is awaken; attack, destroy, tear, savage!. A state of betrayal!.
What an illusion,
Domestication!.

Very insightful read! Www@QuestionHome@Com

You can have all the" puddles of moonlight "that you want!. Your cats can lay in it or swim in it or do whatever that want!. And they can "slip
into night`s dark cover,innocently stalking innocent prey" twice if they want!. I loved it all!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Wow, wild and feral from sitting in the La-Z-Boy by a crackling fire!. The illusion of your poems, dear Cyn, is that they are domesticated!. But the thrum of the wild lies underneath them, a somewhat feral voice writing without fear!.!.!.lovely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

My comment is !.!.!.!.I like it!.!.!.it appears to be a simple enough little saga, but the final two lines create a chain of thought in the head!. We could almost transfer the thought across to us!.!.!.we think we are living free, full lives!.!.!.but we are as pale shadows when compare to early man/aboriginal people!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Makes me think of the 50 pound canary sitting behind the hedge, calling :"Here kitty kitty kitty,here kitty, come this way kitty"!
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!.!.!.!.and humans the grandest illusion!.

(inspired by a documentary on the Indios of Brazil)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I love 'puddles of moonlight!'
Having played with a kitten the other day, destroy, tear and savage are very real to me (and my socks!) Those baby teeth and claws are ruthless!Www@QuestionHome@Com

What a light and humorously wonderful observation!Www@QuestionHome@Com

All kinds of jungles on our planet, Your last four words open other
doors of illusion!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Love it!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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