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Question: How do you like my Poem (Sad)!?
I used to know a woman deep within the sky
She was sweet and had something pure to her cry
But things changed and the distance caused her to flea
There are no more beautiful skies of stars left to see
My heart had shattered like a rock smashing a car windshield
MY moves used to be smooth but now I must yield
Our souls used to tangle more than vines growing up a tree
But the newspapers are all sold out, there are no stories for me
The fifth amendment is the only defense left to plea
With her I could pick my battles and win my wars
See the sun and the sky, but no longer that star outdoorsWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yeah dude!. It's sad, and dramatic!. I like the 5th line about the smashed windshield!. You could make the flow easier by dropping a few words in each line - yet still keep your meter, rhyme and message!.

Like!.!.!.

I once knew a woman deep in the sky
So sweet so pure I remember her cry
From change and distance she did flee
And my sky is empty no stars I see

Well my example kind of sux, but I suppose you get the point!.

peace and have a Star !Www@QuestionHome@Com

oh!.!. a poem that rhymes

edit:
i'm glad you succeeded in spending too much time thinking of ways to call someone a retard!. now we know your wit is up to par with your ability to produce a decent poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

good!. But I think you should add more things like 'hidden' meaning!. Make your poem easy to be read, like few words in a line, but really hidden in meaning, or can make many different interpretations!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

you said "flea" the correct spelling would be "flee"!.

I really like that one sentence!.!.!.

"Our souls used to tangle more than vines growing up a tree"

Www@QuestionHome@Com

You have got the wrong flea and so no wonder she had to fleeWww@QuestionHome@Com