Position:Home>Poetry> "Trapped" a poem..Do you like it yes or no and why? Critique and point
Question: "Trapped" a poem!.!.Do you like it yes or no and why!? Critique and point out mistakes please!. (= !?
I know it is a little long but hopefully it is worth the time!. I think it is!.
Trapped
Im like a bird,
once I roamed free,
now im suppressed,
trapped,
captured
by a love,
that once was promising,
a love that once had hope,
a couple that had dreams,
now everything that once was,
is gone,
gone with the
wind,
every time he opens his mouth,
arrows are flung,
straight through my heart,
his hits are like a thousand needles,
pricking my skin,
the marks on my skin,
are the blazing fire of our relation,
my eyes sting with tears,
my body aches,
my soul is burnt,
I want out,
I want to be able to roam free again,
but with every touch,
every word,
every threat,
with the way I am trapped,
in a dazed love,
freedom drifts further,
and further away with each passing second!.!.!.
I wrote this poem a few months ago and was wondering if it is any good!.
*crosses fingers and waits for answers*
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I give it a 9 out of 10!. It's very good!. I have to say that it's not your best, but I do still like it!.
At some point it's kind of hard to understand!. It leaves a very easy question in my mind that I do not think your poem is making the answer clear enough!.
If you want to be free, if you do not like the pain, why do you not just leave him!? I kind of understand why your trapt, but then again, it's kind of confusing to understand!. I think that's probably because I think to literal, or straight forward!.
Again, that was pretty good!. Keep up the writing!. Hoping to read more from you! ^_^
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i really like your poem because your words have true emotion and the imagery is really good!.
Keep writing!.
good luck!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I'm sorry, the tsunami of clichés drowned me and thus I can't comment on your poem!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
8!.5 OUR OF TEN :)
sorry about caps
too lazy to change
but
good job :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
sad!. but i like it! i dont think the GONE WITH THE WIND part fits in!. reminds me of the movieWww@QuestionHome@Com