Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> I decided to write better vocabulary in my new poems,Is it better or should I st


Question: I decided to write better vocabulary in my new poems,Is it better or should I stick to simple English!?
The Fallen Viper

You are the viper, who waits for me,
I hide from your avarice need,
People read of you but I’ve seen your face,
Repulsing me till I feel sick,
Running through gardens you search for my blood,
Each quibble I have with you ends with frost,
And shall you be victorious!?
Will I win if I retreat and hide!?
Or does that make me lose!?
Knowing I can no longer live joyous,
Seeing the shadows that may,
Can the tree of new seasons show me the way!?
Some think you are anomalous,
Others see your dark,
Please do not take me the viper that lurks,
For I have no resistance for your venom,
And no cure to set me free,
If you ever catch me -
I will remain feral and just like you,
Haunting me forever the viper with your incisive bite,
You’re always hunting for me,
The demon in my life,
Twisting in my garden,
Trying to taste my skin,
I abhor your everything,
Yet like you once before –
I am falling, falling!.

By Crazygirl
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
The language is just perfect!. It suits the tone of the poem, and it is right of you to be trying new things!. One suggestion - you dont really need 'need', after avarice!. Avarice contains the sense of needing already :)

Well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com