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Question: What do you think of this first draft of this poem!?
Thirty Odd Years
Wandering the cursed Earth
amid a fog of stupid words
and broken ideologies,
an angel fallen, thrown from
grace, Thirty odd years
peppered with majesty
and smiles, tragedy and trials
A heart once hot as first time
love, now cold like ancient
catacombs!. It is unbearable
that I've been smudged, an
erasure of my former self,
no longer pristine!.
Thirty odd years worn down
from voices, violence, vicodine, and vodka
all chipped away at my facade,
the real me spilling out!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
LOVE IT!! god that is deep and depressing!.!.!.!. LOVE IT!!!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This starts out fantastic! You are a skilled poet!. For me, the ending is cold (as you intended)!. I always want the drunk to be vindicated, like Dudley Moore in Arthur!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
More, More, More! It's awesome and I can't wait to hear your final copy!. :) Please post ASAP!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
since you have an issue with criticism, this is the greatest poem ever written!.!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com