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Question: Is this poem really bad!?
The night!.

It's about a person who is attracted to something they know is bad(Night=Vampire)but can't stay away,even if it could be the end of them(end=Vampire bites them=death)!.

The night is near
Though you do not fear
the world of the unknown
that you welcome to your home!.
Yes you invite it!.
and don't try to fight it!.
You love it!.
You want it
To live it,You thrive it!.

They warned you!.
They told you "stay away like you're suppose to!."
They said as they scold you!.

But it's the night
The same thing that filled you with delight
never fright!.
You enjoy the unknown and wish to be welcomed as their own!.

The night is here!.
As it calls you,you draw near!.

It chose you
It wants you
To love you and harm you!.

As your end draws near
you don't cower with fear!.

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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Not bad, but desperately needs polish, and to be better visualized!. You have a lot of repetition in here, toward no discernible end, and you need to pick a perspective and work it out, not just jot down phrases that sound good!. also, you need a coherent, dominant theme besides just the mystique of vampirism!.
We all know what's attractive and what's frightening about it, but you want to show the reader YOUR feelings on the subject!. And there's no necessity of going on and on about it, unless you're showing us different facets of the experience!.
And what is with the thriving it!? This is just confusing, and seems to have been added merely for the rhyme!. Bear in mind that rhyming is not poetry, it's just rhyming!. Poetry is making an experience or emotion real through the thoughtful use of vivid and evocative words, pacing, pausing, rhyming and judicious not rhyming!. You could do much better than this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

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