A comment, please, on a style I'm trying?

Question: A comment, please, on a style I'm trying!?

Dog Whistles

half on and off the couch
thankful to be horizontal
fingers splayed in mesh of fur
faithful dog lays somewhere
among the pillows and legs
dumb dog doesn't have a clue
I look the same to him
he doesn't know that I'm gone
if he did, he'd likely whistle
call my name to come home
I'd probably listen as well as
he does while on his walkabouts
I'll return when I'm damn good
and ready, I've got exploring
to do in this vast wilderness
madness, my new wonderland
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I can see crumpled sheets as the sunlight plays around the walls of your eyes, casting thought shadows, chasing and hiding!. A light airy madness separated from the real, from then and here!. I found this thoughtful and deep rather than funny, contemplative rather than jocular!.
This set my mind off again, oh dear!.!.!.!.!.I'm supposed to be working!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Aha, gotcha!

Poetically you are racing ahead at a tremendous rate!.!.!.!.I see a change in only a few days - if this is madness, it's got a lot to recommend it!.

Dog probably knows you are exploring your mental universe, but being a dog and being used to crazy human-kind he takes it all in his stride!.
Don't wander off too far!.!.!.we need you're input here!.
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I had to read it twice, but that's because of my view, not because of the style!. (Along the lines of what we talked about the other day, how others 'read' us differently!.)
On the second read through, I found 'my flow' and it went along smoothly so that I could pause where I thought I was meant to and run along when I had to!.
So, as far as the style goes!.!. I enjoyed the poem once I was 'comfortable!.'
As for the topic!.!. I laughed and reached over to ruffle Ben's fur, in total agreement!.
:)
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I like it but maybe you could break it up into two or three stanzas!. It'd be easier to follow especially when you start talking about the dog and when you stop talking about the dog!.

Just a thought, too, that you might want to give the dog a name if you don't want it to be a metaphore!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Let the madness continue!.!.!.
I welcome it with open wings!.!. I am the Mad Damselfy!.!.!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

Be careful! this style makes you spell it all out with joy, but yet, its exhaustive! you follow this path, and you gonna call more time outs!.
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Yet more pet poetry!. Dogs, cats, fish, birds - they all are hilarious to us mere mortals!.

Oh the lessons they teach!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Damn, I'm gonna miss me when I'm gone!.!.!.!.PahoooootWww@QuestionHome@Com

enjoyable read! you flow thru the non rhyme with ease, where its such a struggle for me not to rhyme every word!. bravo!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Reminds me of all the dogs I have known!. Great imagery!Www@QuestionHome@Com

very deep, I love your style?Www@QuestionHome@Com