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Question: Critique My New Poem: The Sunshine After The Rain!?
The sunshine after the rain
*******************************
Nature beauty is back again
The sun mighty in glory
It's golden rays
greet us with joy
the green pastures
the beautiful trees
the vast blue skies
the white clouds passing by
All fill our hearts with love
One feels blending in nature
the rain water drops lingering
kissing the roses, flowers and lilies
The sunshine after the rainWww@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I love it!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

to be completely blunt, there is not a shred of flow,,, the idea you are expressing is easily imagined, all of us have experienced this at some point!. however, you offer no perspective that does not exist beyond my own experiences!.

Yes, there are many forms of poetry, your submission can be considered a poem, although I would consider rewording to delete as many unnecessary idle words as possible while including ones that spark imagination!.

Poetry, to be worth reading, should impart a bit of yourself, what you feel, what you think, what you saw,,, and,,, it should do that in as few words as possible so your message is sparking my experiences or expanding my thoughts!.


here is part of what you wrote,,,

"One feels blending in nature" ( this line makes no sense to me, unless you are trying to say you have become one with nature )

the next three lines could paint a picture, as written, they fall short as you just give a very faint outline,,

the rain water drops lingering ( rain is water, so saying "rain water" is redundant )
kissing the roses, flowers and lilies ( "flowers" is mighty obscure )
The sunshine after the rain ( two too many "the" )

Consider this,,,

While drained, broken clouds scurry along,
drops now glistening with light linger on,
kisses bestowed upon delicate rose petals,
rainbow lilies receiving their share too!.

Glorious sun after rain!.

Of course, this is just my opinion and you are free to reject it if you so desire!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

It is a good poem But it is hard to feel the autors point of view, this is because it comes of as choppy try re-wording allitle better and use better syllables to make it less choppy!.Www@QuestionHome@Com