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Position:Home>Poetry> Would you comment on my first attempt at writing a play?Question: Would you comment on my first attempt at writing a play!? A Morning Play, in One Short but Painful Act by C!.S!. Scotkin George: Gracie, whatever is this thing!? Gracie: Haven’t a clue, big boy…check it out!. George: (hesitantly) I… I don’t know, it’s big and blue and just hangs there twitching every few seconds…Gracie! Aren’t you scared!? Gracie: (using her disgusted meow) You are such a chicken! Do I have to do everything around here!? We’re house cats, not a lion pride…(mumbling to herself) How that tom finds his way to the litter box is beyond me…!. Grace goes over to the big, blue twitching thing and bites it, gently… Mom: Ouch! Can’t I sit here and have a quiet cup of coffee without you biting my toes!?! This afghan isn’t going to hurt you!. Grace strolls over to George and flops down next to him Grace: Nothing interesting there except the coffee…if you bite her toe, I can sneak some, think about the possibilities…when she goes to work!. Hmmm!? Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: Cats and coffee!.!.!.perphaps it's time to change your creamer! lol funnyWww@QuestionHome@Com I do believe you have a knack for dialogue!. That, and surrounding action are clear!. Attempting a one-act play is courageous! So short a time for a meaningful ending! You did this well!Www@QuestionHome@Com Cute play, I hope the broadway opening has just a tad more dialog!.Www@QuestionHome@Com a little out there with the fairys but a good first attemptWww@QuestionHome@Com Big blue things!? Slippers!? That's all I can think of, since they are attacking your feet!. Cute!.Www@QuestionHome@Com Very cute! Big blue thing!? Your feet must have been REALLY cold!Www@QuestionHome@Com Very cute!. I could hear that crazy pair conniving!. You should wear slippers!Www@QuestionHome@Com Blue Ba** or!.-lolWww@QuestionHome@Com Nice twist!. Big, blue, hanging things !.!.!.!.!. and felines still try to convince us that size doesn't matter!.Www@QuestionHome@Com They sound very bunny-ish, you made my brain scrabble about thinking of blue things which hang down (but, I've led a sheltered life and couldn't think of anything) and I've no idea what an afghan is apart from a sort of dog!. Right, as a play it won't make Broadway or the West End!.!.!.I mean who's going to get dressed up and go all that way for 5 minutes!? So, a re-write is needed!.!.!.!.make this first act longer, shove in a couple more acts, change the cats to people, change the blue thing to a pink thing!.!.!.get censored, and then you're talking!. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof it aint, but it's got possibilities!.!.!.I wonder who we could get to play main character!? (grannyjill - shut up)Www@QuestionHome@Com |