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Question: NEW POEM --- please read --- it's short --- THANKS!!?
I'm 15 and this poem i wrote the other day when i was sitting in the car, on the way to my nans house!.
This poem is about me, and not being able to tell my mum something that i did, i'm too scared because i don't know how she will react!.
Please don't be too harsh!. thankyou!.
"Help is Feared"
My cries for help
no one hears
my sadness shown
with gentle tears
Acting cheerful
but is not true
what happened
will really shock you
I can't take it
i must tell mum
if i don't
my heart will stay numb
i tried
but couldn't tell
i closed up
returning to my shell!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Not bad at all!.!. But my guess is that you prefer the lyrical type!. Keep on writing!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
omg =| are you pregnant !?!Www@QuestionHome@Com
i think its goodWww@QuestionHome@Com
wow better than my poems i can tell you thatWww@QuestionHome@Com
A Very good poem indeed! - however, I would change some lines to keep in tune with the rhythm!. Verse 3 should be rewritten or the whole poem changed to four 2 line verses!.That way there is more room to change things around!. Since you tried to stick to strict rhyming - line 4 of verse 3 should be corrected :)
"Help is Feared"
My cries for help
still no one hears
my sadness shown
with gentle tears
Acting cheerful -
which is not true
what happened
It will shock you
I can not take it
i must tell mum
for - if i don't
my heart stays numb ( mum and numb don't rhyme)
I tried - in vain
but couldn't tell
and then closed up
returning to my empty shell!.Www@QuestionHome@Com