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Question: *What do you think of this POEM!?!? *!?
This poem is about a soldier at war!. I just want your honest opinion of what you think of it!. BUT DON'T LEAVE NEGATIVE REMARKS
Dilemma
Friend, foe, or not, he waited for his prey
Despite the sorrow and confusion, he wanted to be brave
His desire as a hero was to win that certain medal
War was a game, an inevitable battle
His heart as ruthless as a crook, he fired with passion
Fastening himself with his last ammunition, this was his only fashion
Those repetitive words have gone away by now
To surrender this brutal game, he would not allow
"Just glance at those gory bodies and feel that horrid shame!. Are you really enjoying this nasty game!?
Look what you've done!. Are you in your own sanity!?"
!.!.!."Who gives a damn," he says, "It's all about my vanity"
Those same, repetitive words flashed back once again
As he held back tears, he pitied those hopeless prayers
Coward or soldier, he felt sinfully wrong
But he kept murdering, just to prove he's strongWww@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It definitely shows that killing for the "glory" is not all it's cracked up to be!.
I enjoyed it, though you could edit the line "Are you in your own sanity!?" as it's hard to be "in" sanity!.
As well, it would be odd for someone to say "It's all about my vanity"!. Most people don't admit that they're vane!. However, if you want him to be speaking truthfully, it's great!.
And take away the three dots in front of "Who gives a damn"!.
Other than that, it was really enjoyable!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Its pretty good yeah, but could be improved!. Some of the words are rather cliched and hence not so emotive (sorrow, confusion - we hear them every day, should be more specific to capture the essence of what youre saying)!. also, think about yourr verse!. There isnt any metre or rthmical design!. Try and choose a certain means of poetics and adhere to them - it will focus the reader mmore and allow you to place your most important points where they shall be met with the most emphasis!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Wow, this is a good poem!. :) I think this poem really has deep emotions and feelings!. I like it!. I also like writing poems!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
depressing but in my book that is a major 30 pointsWww@QuestionHome@Com
It's very well written I enjoyed it!.!.!.!.thank you
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Do you think a soldier fights for medals or for vanity!?
To entertain this thought is nothing more than crazed insanity!.
War is just a game when you control the pawns that's used!.
A soldier just follows orders and keeps his lords amused!.
'Murder' is a word which describes killing with malicious intent!.
A soldier can't have feelings for someone they,ve never met
And proving strong is harder done when years have passed since war,
when the husk of a man thats left behind, is passed out on the floor
But what do I know anyway!? Keep it up
Www@QuestionHome@Com