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Position:Home>Poetry> Poem in nice words ,i hope you like?Question: Poem in nice words ,i hope you like!? Waiting for the train Looking at my watch I wish I know something Why its so hard to explain When I check the time Again!. I see people everywhere There is a girl over there She is crying and covering her face She discovered that her lover died Or cheated on her or tried All her dreams went ground All her dreams were fake She never thought spring May make, her snow man Melt like an ice flakes What would she do with her baby He is one month for heaven sake He wont understand anything There is a young guy there Holding another rose Laughing in his mind at the stupid girl That gona take it and squeal Why it has to be that way Why love cant be the same Why we are such stupid dolls Guys use us as games Why we give our heart out And it turned back with pain Is it fair or maybe Life is so unfair But in both ways I don’t care I will run to the train Www@QuestionHome@Com Best Answer - Chosen by Asker: good first draft!. Keep working on it; it has potential!.Www@QuestionHome@Com i love it happy b day to u LIBRA HAPPY BIRTHDAY Libran's are from a world of a kind, Of those who have a beautiful mind!. They are very methodical and enchanting, Their smile is very, very charming!. Libras is a world to earn name and fame, Their glances win hearts all the same, Of those who reward them with a Rose, My dear Libras are, to whom the universe, The lovers' the classic winners, Would all love to propose!. My Dear!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. From!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!. With a bunch of roses to you!. Www@QuestionHome@Com WOOWW!?!!?! Hmm maybe u should go back and proofread this!. It has alot of grammatical errors that make it hard to GRASP the concept!. I think the correct thought process and feelings are there but the errors overpower their affect!. So proofread it and submit it again with the corrections!. Could be a winner with just a little more care!.Www@QuestionHome@Com I dont like it, espaicially around the beginning to middle!. It too common!.!.!. it doesnt have a moral or anything like that!. Most of it doesn't flow, and "i run to the train" doesn't mean what its meant to mean (if you know what i mean!?)!. Sorry :DWww@QuestionHome@Com I LOVE it but if I were you, I'd make sure I get this Copy written before posting this on a public forum!.!.!.People can steal your poem!Www@QuestionHome@Com Well done !. !. !. :-)Www@QuestionHome@Com nice poem Www@QuestionHome@Com I like it!. But try to care a little bit more!.Www@QuestionHome@Com good job! Www@QuestionHome@Com |