Will you read my words and comment?

Position:Home>Poetry> Will you read my words and comment?

Question:

I reach out
I can sense
Your presence
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I look out
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I can see
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Your shadow
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I breathe in
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I can smell
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Your essence
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.You speak now
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I can’t hear
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.What you say
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Are you there!?
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.I want you
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.To take me
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.Away now
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.From this place
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.This pretense ~
Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I just love they way your poem shape looks like a woman peeking out of a keyhole!. Perhaps in a locked room, hoping her message will fall on the ear she longs to find!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

touch, sight, smell, taste and sound

You know, with a bit of patience, you could turn this into the profile of a face!.!.!.!.to use Americaneze!.!.!. that would be really cool!

This looks very simple, but it's not!. As you have done it each sense is failing you in some way (because the source of what you touch, see, smell and hear is a lie)!. Just an idea!.!.!.!.instead of Are you there!? How about 'Is anyone there!?to take me/away now/from this place/this pretense!.!.!.!.!.to show you want to get away from the person who is failing you!.!.!.!.as an amateur, you're doing fine! =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like how you wrote your poem
This talks about reaching out
touching
The touching is a way of sensing
The other senses like seeing
hearing loving words
Now you want to be taken away
someplace nice!.

Www@QuestionHome@Com

I didn't think of it as a face until I read Ronnie's reply!. There is much to be said of what we want/search for, what we ask for, and what we accept!. I like this!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

But, as we find out eventually, it's all pretense of some sort!. Nice work!. See, I even pretend to know what I am talking about!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I think it's simple and a bit amateurish!.

It's good but it is nothing special!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Very nice!. I can imagine this the whole time I am reading it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like this a lot!.!.!.and I like your comment!.!.!.It's supposed to be fun! Thank you!Www@QuestionHome@Com

omgshh
thats pretty!.
it paints a picture in my head as i read!.!.!.

deep girl!.!.!.!.deepWww@QuestionHome@Com