Position:Home>Poetry> Ike has hit our shores?
Question: Ike has hit our shores!?
Its raining its pouring
Ike has hit our shores
With gale winds
Fire & ice
That tears with stride
Bruise our hopes
With fashionable winks
Break our pride
Its holly pink
As McCain & Palin speeches
Bore us as mites into our lives
Let them go back to the jungle
Trotting & rorting
Republicans take a nose dive
As this economy
Isn’t a virgin
Tries to stay alive
From over spending
Big banks steal grapes
From our heart vines
A racoon sleeps in a lion’s cage
from snoring
As an economy
Drinks milk to an inch of its life
Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Let's address the poem itself: "it's" means "it is", so the first line should be "it's raining, it's pouring"!.!.!."its" means something that belongs to "it"!. Line 3, try "gale force winds"!. also, did you mean "holly pink" or "holy pink"!? if you meant "holly", you should probably capitalize the word so we know it's a name of something!. "Bore us as mites" could be rewritten as "Bore like mites into our lives"!. The "&" is a little distracting!.!.!.I'd recommend you simply use "and"!. "nose dive" is hypenated (nose-dive), as is "over-spending"!. The last few lines don't jell very well, but I see where you're coming from!.
As far as content, you put yourself in a left-wing slant with a few inaccuracies!. This is common and one of the reasons many good poets state situations and allow the reader to make the judgment themselves!.!.!.it also avoids alienating half your readers!. McCain and Palin speeches may "bore" you, but Obama and his running mate bore others!. The economy is in good shape, but the financial institutions have failed due to a policy that started 20 years ago and has played through both democrat and republican presidents and congresses: give loans to minorities who wouldn't normally be able to qualify for loans so more of them will become home owners!. Many tried to warn congress that this would create a house of cards, but it was politically incorrect, so everyone, left and right, stayed the course and now we're paying for it!. Big issues are often very complex, but the left and right media try to oversimplify it to promote their perspective!. Poets need to try and stay a little above the frey so they can present situations and allow their readers to see their point of view without the poet hitting them over the head with it!. So, you were a little heavy handed in your poem, and there is no rule that says you "can't" say what you feel!.!.!.I'm just providing a little insight into how the poet and his or her readers interact!.
Meanwhile, you have some good images in there, biased though they may be!. keep writingWww@QuestionHome@Com