Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> Feedback on my poem please.?


Question: Feedback on my poem please!.!?
I wanted to thank everyone for the feedback on the last poem I posted!. And I wanted to post another!.

I've been spending the day walking upon the ceiling,
dusting out the corners of my mind!.
And try as I may I still cant find the reason,
why you haven't left this all behind!.
I've been staring at the sky and waiting,
waiting for the rip to show!.
You've bitten me with such a bitter cold
but still it just won't snow!.
The leaves that have grown from the seed we planted,
have faded to an ugly brown!.
I know that their death is around the corner,
and still you haven't laid your sword down!.
Why do you battle an enemy who has passed!?
What makes you think it's worth it!?
How does a memory even fight back!?
And what makes you think you'll beat it!?
How do I know that your war is still raging!?
Because it rages inside of me!!
And until you let go and admit defeat,
the fact is it always will be!.
So I beg you, stop fighting and please rest your head!.
I am through with all the searching!.
Its time now to lay down your sword and put our memory to bed!.
And i promise with time, your heart will stop burning!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
good, deep stuff Www@QuestionHome@Com

thats great!!

hell i cant even make up a stupid kids poem about eggs!! =SWww@QuestionHome@Com