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Question: I wrote this poem myself any suggestions/comments!?
and i hate the way that my heart doesn't grow
and i hate the smell of your cigarette smoke
and i hate your old movies cause they make me cry
and i hate the jerk that you've turned out to be
and i hate all the sand that holds back the sea
and i hate the fact that you like me for me
and i hate the way that you look in my eyes
and i hate the way that you act so surprised
and i hate the way you promised not to lie
and i hate the fact that the sun is too bright
and i hate the way its gets dark out at night
and i hate how you always seem to be right
and i hate the way that these people hide their face
and i hate the way that you make my heart race
and i hate the fact that all of this is so true
and i hate the way our favorite colors are blue
but most of all i hate that i'm in love with you!.
(end)
okay im 14 im a freshman
im not very good
any suggestions/comments!?
tell me what you thought
edit it give me some ideas
help me please
im trying to make this the best i can!
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I think it's awesome!

Anytime someone expresses feelings and can do something creative with it, that's cool!.

Keep writing!!! And remember it's like Art, some people are going to love it and some people are going to hate it, it's all about what it means to you!.
Good Job!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Good, very grungy and pissed!.!.!.Get rid of the "and" at each line like that, it takes away from anger, the hate that you are trying to get across to your reader!.

I hate the way that my heart doesn't grow,
I hate the smell of your cigarette smoke,
I hate your old movies cause they make me cry,
I hate the jerk that you've turned out to be,

also, try this

I hate the way that my heart doesn't grow,
and, I hate the smell of your cigarette smoke,
I hate your old movies cause they make me cry,
and, I hate the jerk that you've turned out to be,






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this is gud!.!.!.!. but dont be pesimistic wen you r writing a poem!.!.!.!. try "i love !.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!." it wud be even more better!. there r many things to praise in this world rather than to hate!.!.!.!. but ur language is gud try to continue this habit of writing poems!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

no i would change anything!. when i first saw it i was like what!? this guy has issue's, but when i read it i thought it was pretty cool!.
your only 14!!! wow! your an inspiration!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i hate your ryhming scheme i hate your poem goes of topic i hate the way its a rippof of miley cyrus but most of all that you start each sentence the same wayWww@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds like "7 Things" by Miley Cyrus!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I don't know a lot about poetry but u really got some anger issues :(Www@QuestionHome@Com