What do you think of this poem I'm writing...?

Question: What do you think of this poem I'm writing!.!.!.!?

It is not yet finished, but I was hoping you could tell me how it makes you feel, and what you think of it!. Thank you!.

Winter's Embrace:

We feel the winter, we see the falling snow,
the chill of stillness follows where we go,
we hear the voices of distant child play,
yet loneliness burns our memories away!.
As we walk into the frozen night,
the darkness takes away our fears and frights,
yet what we feel is flowing in our veins,
and once again, no memories remain!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

The first four lines are great, gives a good vision that follows through!. Next two lines give a story but the last two loses me a bit!.The idea and feelings are clear in your mind the things with poetry is to convey those ideas so others can see the same thing in a few words!.
I like it though :) I write a lot of poetry myself!. You might like this site to share with http://www!.your-poetry!.com/ have fun writing is so creative and forfilling!.:)Www@QuestionHome@Com

I actually really like it, but the last two lines don't seem to connect that well with the rest!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

damn john thats some good **** brotha

it seems youre lacking a rhyme between **** and duck!.!. duckshitWww@QuestionHome@Com