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Question: Which of my poems do oyu like best!?
Ring,
goes the silent clock!.
It may not be noise,
but I do hear!.
As I do hear pain,
as I feel!.
Pain that holds you,
as a vice,
a vice of cold steel!.
A vice that feels of ice,
freezes off your happiness!.
and stangles you at night!.
But yay!
The dawn it has arrived,
and with its warmth,
the grip lessens until it is no more!.
Your cold heart, beats once again!.
And love is rekindled,
as once before!.
Love that held me,
at its greatest link!.

and this one!.!.!.

Among these brambled thorns,
the world it spins!.
But I stand still,
for i am lost,
I am worn!.
and no more do I feel pain!.
For I am lost to the void,
in my heart!.
to my soul I must go,
to my heart I must go again!.
And with that my story is told,
of a lost boy,
among this torn up world!.

or this one!.!.!.

Love,
the heart of this world!.
It rains down upon you,
like a storm that will not leave!.
It is the sun,
as to the dawn!.
For its rays will slice,
like a knife,
through your heart!.
and you will feel gone,
as though you have left,
and there is no return!.
That the heart can conjure this feeling,
to bring upon this pain,
is to find that which you have not!.
For love cannot be my burden,
as life has bestowed upon me from the start,
this love keeps me hurting,
hurting as a cold wind tears through my soul!.
A wind of ice that is the cause,
of that which cannot be,
the love I do feel,
for you!.!.!.!.!.


If you don't like this one read this!.!.!.!. beware it has already been posted but comment if you wish on it!.


Is it the wind!?
the tearing wind!.
Or is it time!?
to which all is lost!.
For the heat of the sun,
warms that which i can not feel!.
And the night,
numbs me once again!.
To which is love!?
love that breaks you!?
And as to love is to be hurt,
walking among these stars,
blind to the world!?

I cross the hottest deserts,
flesh burns away!.
It is a dulled knife,
striking with a fury,
to hurt me,
as the sun doth to it!.

For love without pain,
is it love at all!?
And love with pain,
do we not all fear!?
Our hearts,
with pain it is lost!.
To not love as before,
i feel you not!.
That which is found once again,
it is lost to the void!.
And love cannot hold me,
anymore!.!.!.!.


and this one!.!.!.!.


Death,
the release from pain!.
And to the sun,
the heat it burns!.
For through the cracks,
the ice it melts,
fire burns throughout!.

Lost in hate,
forever more,
I scorn thy life,
to come to thee,
the anger rises,
once again,
hate for all to see!.

Is it not!? that as a boy!. I am able to make words sing!. Words that Sing a song that cries to the skies! For my recompense!. And for love that I do need!?Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I like them a lot!. You have a good feel for the rhythmic pulse of the language and your lines propel themselves nicely!. Of these my favorite is' "Is it the wind!?/the tearing wind!./Or is it time!?" As you revise, you should really try to work on some of the more trite or obvious images: Hot deserts, dull knives, "cuts like a knife", and so on!. Remember, if you have heard it before, so has you reader!. These things tend to work themselves out in the revision process if we are patient and honest with ourselves!. Good work!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com

These poems make me lose faith in humanity!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

2Www@QuestionHome@Com

OMG those are so depressing!.

I wont bother giving my opinions as you will obviously be too busy committing suicide to read what I have to say!.

I think you should see your doctor about getting some anti-depressants or some counselling or something as you seem to have a bit of a problem here!.Www@QuestionHome@Com