One of my many poems?

Question: One of my many poems!?

When I think of you,
I start to cry,
I can't have you,
And I wonder why!.

You don't go with anyone,
And neither do I,
But I know you don't love me,
By the way you look into my eyes!.

We are just friends,
But I want much more,
When will this pain end!?
Or will it get even worse!?

Please baby tell me,
That you feel the same way,
That I'm not the only one,
Playing this game!.

I pray to God,
That one day you'll be mine,
Without any worries,
Or doubt in my mind!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

I don't like it!.
I don't even think it's good!.
Not even close!.
BUT, it IS awesomeness, which beats good by about a thousand percent!.
It would make a killer good song!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

A little obvious!. Utilize some expression or symbolism!. Make you're reader think, not just read!. What if I (the reader) can't understand your pain!. Describe it symbolically!. Touching, but trite!.

Some poets to look at for great uses of symbolism!.
William Blake, Sylvia Plath, Maya Angelou, W!.B!. Yeats

Good luck, and don't get down!! It's clear you have the idea, and you have potential!!!

*edit
After reading some of the responses, Rev, for example, is right!. It sounds like a pop song!. Not poetry!. But like I said, even the greats had to start somewhere, so keep it up!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Pretty good!.!.!.but simple!. Complexity and imagry are missing here!. I agree with those who say it sounds like a pop song!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

BEAUTIFUL! BETTER THAN MINE =]Www@QuestionHome@Com

omg i love this poem!
i can relate SO much to this!!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it!. Really nice!Www@QuestionHome@Com