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Question: I want to be a poem!. Do I have potential!?
Where are you
A forestmouse
Running through the branches, sodden, fallen
Pattering of his tiny feet against the crumpled soft leaves
Alone and helpless
I wish he wouldnt flee from my thundering steps
We share a terror and lone misery for now
Until I find your corpse, dearest
Amongst the moist graveyard of the forest floor
Your face between the leaves
Dead!.!.!.rotten
Decomposing carcus
ELements of the soul seep into the soil
I dig my fingernails into the earth
Give back those leaking fluids lost!
But what is gone now,
Will never return!.
Your dry face stares up at the circling sky,
I shoo the nervous approaching rodent
Its filthy tail trailing over your arms
Rejected again, he scurries into the dark
And I am more alone than before!.
My soul cries in aching regret
But no longer for you, dearest,
But for the small white forest mouse
Who understood!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Not only do you have the potential to be a poem, you are a poem, and a very good one at that!. The poet who wrote you shows a good deal of sensitivity and pays a lot of attention to detail!. In your line 8 she put in an interesting twist that reminds me of T!.S!.Eliot's "Love Song of!.!.!.Prufrock": "Let us go then, you and I,/When the evening is spread out against the sky/Like a patient etherised upon a table!." The only question I might have for her would be about line 14, "I dig my fingernails into the earth!." Somehow that doesn't seem to fit!. It is probably a little uncomfortable to you!. Ask your poet if she would consider that line and try to make it a little bit less itchy!. also, remind her that you feel kind of naked sitting out here in front of everyone with no title!. Otherwise, please pass on my congratulations and my warmest regards to her!.
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You want to be a poem!? Or a poet!? = )
Anything is possible, if you just set your mind to it - it can become reality!
Good luck!. (Yes, you have a chance)!.
*Please, don't post unpublished work here on yahoo answers!. Anyone can "borrow" it without your permission and make it there's!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's pretty hard to be a poem!. Try being a Poet! (Messing with you! :p)
It's pretty powerful, and easy to tell emotions!.
I liked it,
I would write more in a book just or poetry!.
That's what I do!.
That way, you will always know where they are!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this is free verse!. as a new poet, you might want to stick to one form of poetry!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Some good stuff in here but!.!.!.!.!.!. I am trying to get the meaning!.
Why is a mouse that lives in the woods alone and helpless- or is it you that's helpless!?
Did you find a dead lover in the leaves!? Did you kill him/her!? The carcass has obviously been there some time, why!?
Why are you sorry for/about the mouse!?
I'm not having a go, I'm just not clear!.Www@QuestionHome@Com