Question Home

Position:Home>Poetry> PLEASE ANSWER ANYONE! Is my poem good?


Question: PLEASE ANSWER ANYONE! Is my poem good!?
I like this guy!. It seems that we're just friends!. I wrote this poem to try to get my feelings out!. Now it has opened my eyes; I love him!. I wrote this in 4 minutes, so it might not be great, but I hope that you will like it, and that you can relate!. (OMG! That rhymes too!) Without further ado:
For Real

I tried and tried but yet no luck,
The yearning of my heart,
I tried to impress him so hard,
But school it seemed we part!.

No we aren’t the same at all,
But one it still may be!.
And although I was lonely,
He left me with just me!

O the pain in my heart,
Many wishes I have made,
Prayers and poems, songs and tones,
Waiting for the day!.

But he just doesn’t notice,
No he just can’t see in me,
All of the true feeling,
That there is inside of me!.

I really try to forget,
All the good times that we’ve had!.
But all of the laughter,
Just made me much more sad!.

I think we’re getting farther,
But still he’s there in dreams!
And whenever we get close,
My face just goes and beams!.

Does he really like me,
Or should I just hide!.
I seem invisible!.
And I wish that he was mine!.

He will always be there!.
Whenever I laugh!.
But it seemed to get me nowhere!.
And we took separate paths!.

My ankle injured badly,
No longer could I play!.
The sport we’d both come closer,
I remember that day!.

We talked while playing soccer,
Bonded through mistakes!.
And even if I messed up!.
He’d help me up in case!.

He was always caring,
Funny; wonderful!.
I can’t get him off my mind,
At home or class at school!.

I guess now that I’m writing,
The ways in which I feel!.
I still do truly like him,
It’s really no big deal!

I wrote this poem quite fast!.
Four minutes to be excact,
And it’s opened my eyes,
And I really want him back!.

I will do better tomorrow,
I promise you I will!.
We will soon be together,
It’s something that I feel; for real!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
its okayy!. i mean some lines dont make sense but it made you realize something which is really awesome :DWww@QuestionHome@Com

it's pretty good, and is something that people could relate to!. it doesn't flow very well in places but that could always be edited, and as you said you wrote it quickly!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it for a quick poem!. You needed to ryme a little more!.!.!. also I don't feel the flow of it!. But it was still good!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow! what if you'll bore him!? haha
if he truly likes you he'll enjoy it tho ;) :)Www@QuestionHome@Com