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Question: Is this poem any good!? I really need someone's opinion!.!?
Here it is:

I want to be someone I can’t
Trapped inside myself
Locked away in my own mentality
Forced to be kept away in my psychological prison
I can’t blame my pain on others
I’m the only one who tortures myself
Nobody else is responsible for how I feel
I’m the one who causes my misery
I’m the reason that every night I feel a lonesome tear slowly trickle down my face
I’m the reason that everything collapses around me
I am always the reason!.

Most detailed question gets the 10 points!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
you have the gift of expression but your subject matter will not encourage a reader!.!.!. Topic is important unless the poem is strictly cathartic and not meant to be seen by others!.!.
This sounds like you are wallowing in self pity!.!.!.
Try some visualization instead!.!.!.
For instance:
There is a somebody that I want to be
Who isn't wrapped up tight inside
Stuck in a boring mindset!.
I dont want to be caught in a
psycho-prison of my own making,
I'm through blaming myself,
I start now to change myself
with no help from the peanut gallery!.
No more self torture - it's
time to take responsibility
for some fun in my life!
Mo more misery, no more tears,
just lots of laughs and no more fear!.
It's time to ramp up my existence!.!.!.and
I've got the best reason in the world to do it
!.!.!.ME!.

Try thinking positive!. If you do it right!.!.!.it'll pop your eyes wide while it opens some new windows in your mind-set!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Well it's quite good, but I do have one or two problems with it: I know life is pain and suffering and blah blah blah, but seriously, 99!.9% of poems (and songs) these days are about that sort of thing!. At least make it a bit longer and add something that expresses hope!. Oh and do something about your sense of metre!. 'cause that's another thing: free verse style sh*t with lines of random length USED to be cool, until everyone started doing it!. Now it just sucks!.
Oh and uhh!.!.!."lonesome tear" = uber-ghey phrase!.
I applaud the theme of self-blame you put into it though! At least it makes it look like it was written by someone with the balls not to blame everyone else for their problems!. ^_^Www@QuestionHome@Com

To be honest, I really feel that there wasn't enough creativity put into this!. You could express these feelings in ways that don't start every line out with 'I'!.!. you refer to the first person too frequently!. You could, for example on the last line, say instead, " Always the reason I am" Or like on the fourth line, "Forced into my own psychological prison"
I would play around with it more, leave out the 'I's' and 'I'm's' so much!.!. that's just my opinion!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

"NotYou"

you cant make a poet add hope!. poetry is self expression and one of the ony ways to do something that nobody else can do to change it!.

if that is how you feel, then you wrote it well!. you are the only judge, radeon14!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I've seen better from a monkey with a pencil shoved up it's ***Www@QuestionHome@Com