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Question: Please rate my poem!?!?
please tell me any errors in spelling, punctuation!.
and also tell me if my symbolism is hard to follow!.
thanks!
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I AM
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny
I wonder why the liquid falling on me, feels like a giant weight being lifted, washing away the gum splattered across the thin white strips surrounding me, that the kids are constantly walking on
I hear nothing but the rain rushing down the grass, surrounding me like the wall of a dam finally being lifted
I see myself getting cleaner, feeling cleaner- until one person’s feet are tracking mud all over me again
I want them to respect me and clean up their messes so I won’t continue to do so
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny


I pretend that I am strong enough to carry them all without any help, but truthfully, I am struggling
I feel every scratch, every stomp, every ounce, but they don’t care!.
I touch the heartless souls who are enhancing every dent and scuff!.
I worry that they will ask more of me, I worry because I can’t say no!.
I cry my heart out, trying to wash away all of the soul covering makeup that has been put on me
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny


I understand that cross walks are a part of life’s many obstacles
I say that you need to face them, and never turn your back
I dream that this is not my destiny, I dream that this is not my only chance
I try my hardest to change my disrespected ways
I hope the sun never comes out, and I stay forever clean
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This poem was written with such a maturity, I was surprised to see that you had a teacher to hand it into!.!.to be honest!.!.the punctuation was unnoticeable to the sense of the poem, which I felt was heartfelt, brilliantly expressed, of feelings of not being appreciated, downtrodden, not without hope, but there were feelings of futility, this really touched me!.!.to write from the heart is not easy!.!.but from someone so young to be so insightful, is this how you feel or are you imagining what iut is like for someone else, if so quite staggering!.!.but for your English I suppose you have to get the punc and spelling and tense correct, I would suggest you read it through and where you are tempted to put in pauses as you read , thenplace a coma, this is like half a breath, a full stop is a full breath and usually completes the sense of a sentence!.!.the way I wouold read it would be different to the way you would but as you are the author yours would be mor authentic!.!. good luck with this!.!. let me know!.!. and very well done!.!. Lib x xWww@QuestionHome@Com

its really niice
i like ur discripion^_^

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index!?!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

OMG your poem is beautiful i loved it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

i like it but maybe there is too much sentences beginning with I in the last verse!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Okay, punctualtion:


I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny (period or semicolon)
I wonder why the liquid falling on me (no comma) feels like a giant weight being lifted, washing away the gum splattered across the thin white strips surrounding me, (optional comma; I would lose it personally) that the kids are constantly walking on (period) (grammar note: I would not end this sentence with a preposition, but that is just me!. "on which the kids constantly walk" seems to work better!.)
I hear nothing but the rain rushing down the grass, surrounding me like the wall of a dam finally being lifted (period)
I see myself getting cleaner, feeling cleaner ( optional comma, but not hyphen)- until one person’s feet are tracking mud all over me again (period or semicolon)
I want them to respect me and clean up their messes so I won’t continue to do so (period or semicolon)
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny (period)


I pretend that I am strong enough to carry them all without any help, (semicolon, not comma) but truthfully, I am struggling (period)
I feel every scratch, every stomp, every ounce, but they don’t care!.
I touch the heartless souls who are enhancing every dent and scuff!. (I love this line!)
I worry that they will ask more of me, (semicolon, not comma) I worry because I can’t say no!.
I cry my heart out, trying to wash away all of the soul covering makeup that has been put on me (period) (btw, this is a great line, also)
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny (period)


I understand that cross walks are a part of life’s many obstacles (period)
I say that you need to face them, (no comma) and never turn your back (period)
I dream that this is not my destiny, (semicolon, not comma) I dream that this is not my only chance (period)
I try my hardest to change my disrespected ways (period)
I hope the sun never comes out, (no comma) and I stay forever clean
I am the ground and an undiscovered destiny (period)

Aren''t you glad you asked!? haha

I am guessing that this is about recovery!. The speaker is trying to recover but others are interfering!. She wants the other person to get clean so that she can, too!. Would I be close!?

GREAT poem!!! Www@QuestionHome@Com