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Question: New Poem-Tell me what you think, Please!?
This poem looks very long but once you start reading, it really isn't!.
I guess just tell me what you think! Good or bad! =D Thanks!


My One True Love

I was at the end of my rope
Ready to jump
I couldn't take it anymore
I was about to give up
Kept looking for love in all the wrong places
I was sick of seeing the exact same faces
I thought for sure I'd be alone forever
Already accepted that I wouldn't have anything better
Then I met you, my life was changed
You made everything so perfect, even when it rained
You made my life worth living, instead of boring
You gave me a reason to get up in the morning
Almost cried when you said you'd marry me
Then your feelings changed so suddenly
I'm still not sure what went wrong
I do know that I'm nothing now that you're gone
Looking back there's so much I'd done differently
Like opening up and not taking myself so seriously
I miss being able to see your face
All I had to do was name a time and a place
You made me want to be a better person
Although, I felt at times I was a burden
You always had the best advice, said the right things
There's no way I can throw away my feelings
You were my all, my everything, my life
I will never say goodbye
I'm not sure what the future holds
But I hope it's you and me, together, growing old
There's no doubt about it, my heart beats for only you
I'm the only one who will love you through and through
Through anything and everything, I'll be here waiting
Waiting for you to bust down the door and save me
If I can't have you I'll be alone forever
Because no one will make me happy - no, not never
I hope you can see just how much you really mean
There's not enough paper in the world for me to truly express my feelings
I'll wait my whole life for you, if I have to
The truth is: I love you; And can't live without you


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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes, a very fine 'starter' poem!.!.!.why do I say 'starter'!?

You have the internal, core meaning down pat!. The readers cannot help but see this meaning!. Now, to make even more of an impact!.!.!.use 'concrete' images!.!.!.find concrete words that the reader ca 'see'!.!.!.!.i!.e!. 'Because no one will make me happy-no, not never'!.!.!.!.to put seeable images in this, how about!.!.!."I wish no roses from strangers!.!.!.brown petals blanket my floor" Just an idea!.!.!.

Keep on writing!.!.!.you are in a good place to get good critiques!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Not bad at all for a beginner!. Keep at it!
also, when you write a poem thats just, for the most part, face value, you should try to make it fit into more consistent formula, like having the same number of syllables each line or making it iambic!. Www@QuestionHome@Com

The flow is poor, your use of the word "I" is rather excessive, and it is a tedious read because of those two things!. Your message comes through, though the impact is lessened!.

When you posted this yesterday I offered, in a positive way, an example of how to avoid the repetitive use of "I" without loosing your meaning and to improve the flow!.



Really, so long as you are happy with it, I guess that is all that matters!. Please, keep on writing, improvement comes with practice and from seeing how other poems are structured to draw the reader into your thoughts!.Www@QuestionHome@Com