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Question: My poem shattered do you like it!?
This is the day i have been dreading so long!.
My life has went and gone' and my mind is not hanging like it should too!.!.
Like a moth to a dim light flickering with pain'
eating my soul' and devouring my spirit and i cannot hang on much more!.

I hope i can hang on as the tide throws me out' but will i be able to keep my head afloat!.!.
No tears to cry as The dead do not need them anymore!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
cool sound quite sad and creepy but makes you think at the same timeWww@QuestionHome@Com

No, listen to some Morisie or some Smiths before you start laying down tracks!. That will get you in the mood for live altering lyrics, mind bending thoughts and you will reach to the deepest part of your soul faster and more precise!.
Then again it's okay!.
TWww@QuestionHome@Com

second line after should you don't need too

fourth line would sound better if you put much longer

First line second paragraph tide throws me out, but will I be able to keep my head afloat!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

be
a survival
elevate your soul
over your loss and unspoken pain
its alright to fall some times as long as
you standtall on happyday with a smile again
Www@QuestionHome@Com

It's good!. It'd be a lot better if you fixed the writing a little, and aligned it different though!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Great Job!!!
Your Awesome!
~~Victor Hugo~~Www@QuestionHome@Com

Is the name of the poem "Shattered"!?

It sounds good!.!.!.I like it!Www@QuestionHome@Com

Thats really good!.

It has a few things you could fix!. but for the most part it is really good, keep it up!. =)Www@QuestionHome@Com

NoWww@QuestionHome@Com

rough time!?!?Www@QuestionHome@Com

i dont like it sorry!Www@QuestionHome@Com

I liked this poem a lot and i know it came from deep within your heart!.Take care ok CamiWww@QuestionHome@Com