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Question: What do you think to my poem it only took me 10mins!?
Take me to where the sun does shine
your wisdom and naivety reluctantly combined
a place for two lost souls to intertwine
Ticking clocks of virtuous time!.
Don’t try to understand what you can’t control
your destiny is that of the path of your soul
No wind favours he without a goal
And no chose conclusion there’s a hidden toll
Countless metaphors that define certain bliss
with one chose all could be dismissed
Never let our dreams remiss
Don’t join the endless loveless list
I will stand always by your side
Lets get carried away by the rising tide!.
Only in your heart my head will chose to hide
I vow to vied for your love i will always strive
Lose a grasp of all that’s real
Temptation salvation nothing to conceal
Just let it come and let it flow
Easy come and easy go!.
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
i agree with everyone on here, it is really good!. it is creative, original, and full of subtle feeling that doesnt bash you over the head with its point!.
but, if you want to make it even better, try to work on the rhythm!. thats the hardest part for a lot of poets!. just try to make each line have around the same number of syllables!. for example, the first line in the second stanza has 11 beats, while the third line has only 7!.
still, great job!!Www@QuestionHome@Com
This is a very good first draft!. I'm sure that after a few revisions it will probably be a good poem!. Think about your focus and your audience!. It would be good to set it aside for a few weeks and then come back to it!. Way to Go!Www@QuestionHome@Com
OMG that was really goooooooodddddd!!!!!! You should totally publish it!. What's it called!? That only took ten minutes!?That's amazing!. I think you should look over it again though because I think I might have seen some spelling errors!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Lovely!. All great poems begin with a great ten minutes!. BOKOWww@QuestionHome@Com
om i love it its totally amazing! =]]Www@QuestionHome@Com
i like it but for some reason it sounds verry familiar!.!.!.!?Www@QuestionHome@Com