Position:Home>Poetry> A poem, "My Craziness"... your thoughts?
Question: A poem, "My Craziness"!.!.!. your thoughts!?
My Craziness
Don't I already have a large enough slice of craziness!?
Maybe so, maybe not!.
I do know how to work with what I've got!.
I'd ask what happened to mercy if asked me to work with less!.
Some are sure too say I have too much;
Others are sure to say that me and craziness have never met!.
Some are sure to make an issue of issues that they don't get!.
The best of us are bound to make bad decisions without regret!.
Those who seem like talented judges are more than able to misjudge!.
The most forgiving among us is more than able to hold a grudge!.
Perhaps this poem is about my own non-existance!.
Perhaps it's a tale of an everlasting resistance!.
It might have just been a description of persistence!.
Why is it that I dislike the prescription of the medicine called "Existance"!.
-Joe M!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
hmmm!!!! Wow!.!. i liked it :) it was grrreeat! LOL!. But seriously, I do think its genious :PWww@QuestionHome@Com
I am completely in love with the 3rd stanza! Great poem!. But I have to say I don't like the 1st two lines of it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
No!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like it but I agree the first stanza is not the greatest as an opening stanza!.
I think what does not seem to work is "slice of craziness" it has got to go!.
Maybe use "a huge serving of craziness" or "double serving of craziness" then perhaps if you reversed the second line to "Maybe not maybe so" then of course it ruins the rhyme but you can follow it with "I work with what I've got but really who's to know!?"
So I would suggest something like this (I hope the liberties I have taken with your poem does not offend you it is but a suggestion)!.
Don't I already have a large enough serving of craziness!?
Maybe not maybe so
I work with what I've got but who's to know!?
Would it really be mercy had I been given any less!?
I like how your poem flows!. I, also, particularly like he third stanza!. The last line of your poem also needs work!. It should go particularly "prescription of the medicine" it takes away from the poem!.
Www@QuestionHome@Com