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Tell me what you think of this !?
every time i look at him my heart bleeds
i feel he does not notice me
but then he looks up and waves to me
my heart keeps pubbing hard i can't be-leave he look at me
does he like me and can he see me for me
i have no idea i just wait a see Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
My suggestion is to change 'me' as it is repeated too often in the poem, unless it is used for an intended effect!.
My version of your poem, sorry couldn't do much lol
everytime i look at him my heart bleeds
i feel like he does not notice me
in a glimpse he looks up and waves at me
my heart keeps thumping harder and harder, and i can't believe he looked at me
does he like me, and can he see me for myself
i have no idea, i'll just wait and see :)Www@QuestionHome@Com
Dreadful - poor spelling and punctuation - do something else and give us a break!. PLEASE!.
(What the hell is "pubbing" and "be-leave" and "wait a see"!?!?)Www@QuestionHome@Com
There are a lot of punctuation mistakes!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
Pretty good, for middle-school gibberish!. Do you know where the shift key is located!?Www@QuestionHome@Com