Position:Home>Poetry> Critique my poem???????????
Critique my poem!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?
Loose words in my mind
Can’t seem to find
Their way through my writing vessel
My trusty pencil
Thoughts stuck in my head
Can’t make it through the lead
Text destined to be stuck for all time
In a line that doesn’t rhyme
Lost souls that can’t reach the paper
Stay confined in the mind of the writer
Any commetns welcome ^_^Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I see by your poem its about
the attempt to find word
to express, but unable to
regardless of the effort!.
As a result the effort is and
will be confined!.
I see you wrote this poem
beautifully, and its in a rhyming
Articles that are missing
will remain gone!.
No matter how hard to search
or asking where it went!.
Look all day or all night
it may show up and not!.
My, you are brave! Very clever poem - are you sure want a critique!? you are opening yourself up for comments that will make you sing, 'look what they've done to my song'!.!.!. ;)
I read it a few times, The line about the trusty pencil is very cute- but would it sound better with out this line!? Not all poems have to have equal amounts of rhyming words, do they!? and although, I think I am following what you are trying to say at the end, do you think you need to rework it!? Perhaps make a comparison of the line 'Text!.!.!. and In a line -' to something that gives imagery!?!.!. text destined to be stuck for all time, in a line that doesn't rhyme, like a planet sailing!.!.!.!.
Keep working on it - I like the topic, it is a very catchy poem - Good job!Www@QuestionHome@Com
I can see what you are trying to convey but when you say it's a poem then it has to meet certain requirements!. In other words stay away from cliche!. Use fresh language, metaphors, similes etc!. The most noticeable weakness is it's flatness that is to say very prosaic writing!. Did I like your poem!? Absolutely!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
weak subject matter!. you wrote a poem about not being able to write a poem, which is silly and paradoxical!. It's a bit boring and hard to read for being so short!. there's no meter to your poem, which is not a wise choice based on your standard rhyme scheme!. a decent attempt at a poem, however!. i knida like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
thats really cool!.!.!. i like how your ends of most sentences rhymed!.
can you give me your opinion!?
Hey that's a really good writing idea you used, I like it, you have a lot of good words in there too!. Write more [:Www@QuestionHome@Com
perfect!. this is what always happens to me
i wanna hand your poem in to my teachers for an explanation
thank you it was wonderfulWww@QuestionHome@Com