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Will my teacher find this an acceptable sonnet!?
The Past Banished
by Elaine Polin
In all this time I had no thoughts of you,
Nor dreamed of years of youthful innocence
When love was always in the present tense
And every moment endless seemed, and new!.
Now at the twilight of my many days
You call to me and offer love again,
I could no longer bear to feel such pain
As when our roads led us in separate ways!.
Too late, my dear, the tears dried long ago
When laughter took their places in my heart,
Filled saddened soul with poetry and art
And dimmed your voice, your face, your youthful glow!.
Today I venture forth to a new time
With youth renewed, while you rest far behind!.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
There once was a girl in New Yerk
Who dated a dribbling jerk!.!.!.
Oh, wait, you said Sonnet, not Limerick!.!.!.
A lady waits upon the sandy shore
for bolder men to love and to adore!.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Since I don't know what the assignment is, it's hard to say whether your teacher would find this acceptable!. However, I believe it could use a little polishing!.
Work on tense in the second stanza, you should change 'could' to 'can'!.
In the sentence "when laughter took their places in my heart" is awkward!. Better would be "when laughter took its place in my heart"!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Not being a sonnet master, I can only surmise that the rhyme scheme is that of some type sonnet other than the one of which I am familiar, but being that said, it is a very nice poem, and I am proud of you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Bravos for sonnet, a song so true
I've heard many peers sing its theme
Bravos for you, strong woman due,
For you moved on to a future of promise!.
Yes Elaine it was great!.I understood what you went through the heart ache and the pain!. It's hard to live with a sadden heart but now you have went forward to a brand new venture!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Gosh its quire poignant, and reminiscient of a bygone well spent age of tender memories and quieter days !.!.!. Well done, I hope your teacher is equally impressed!. Loved be!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I truly saw a piece of myself in that !.!.
It was when I receved a Blast from the Past!.!.that
reawakend the pain
I worked it through!.!. took some time!.!.!. and
YES!! your last 2 lines SUM it up perfectly !!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Excuse me for saying ,,,This is how it's done ,,Your teacher will be proud,,,Very proud to read this!.I love reading poetry and this is most beautiful ,,Thank You and Well DoneWww@QuestionHome@Com
What a gift to find this when I came home! This is so beautiful!.
A new life thanks to art and poetry!. I can't imagine the teacher wouldn't like it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
this is the one poetic form i've never been able to do justice!.
you however, seem to have it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
The past is the past, and you have moved on!. Said so well in your sonnet!. I'd like to hear you add to TD's limerick !.!.!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
NIce although this is a close rhyme in the last couplet!. However, it is a fin e poem!. I believe Spencerian Sonnet!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Absolutely Grade A material!Www@QuestionHome@Com
Today you have renewed mine with your heartfelt words!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
Do you need a teacher!? I think not!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
I think so!
That was lovely!Www@QuestionHome@Com