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Question: Poem for a new school year, your comments!?
CHILDHOOD MEMORIES
An empty room
Things stashed in closet
Clothing in bags for laundromat
When we find out where that is
Single window looks out
On a brick wall
Walk out front door
Memorize the number
Walk the streets, orient and see
Landmarks in every direction
Return to lonely bed
Wet from last night
Wake to choke on
Coal gas from the basement
Litter in the hallways, trash that
Missed the chute, urine in doorways
Someone didn't make it
All the way home
School starts this year
Eight year old in fourth grade
What story to make up for parents
Absent from registration!?
A forged signature
Makes things easy
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Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Some lines did not work for me as I read and detracted from your story !. S1L3 do you need!? S4L1,2 If school starts this year yet you are already in fourth grade!.!.confusing maybe "another school"
I liked the last four lines, made a strong close!. It is always a shame that so many children face these type of lives!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It seems more than a new school year, it seems like everything is new!. A new place a new school, a new life!. It also sounds like it is a more impoverished area you live in, but it reflects from an observers perspective!. It took me into your memories!. I think it is a good poem!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I thought this was about college dorm living - until I got to the last stanza and the age of 8 was mentioned!. What a lot of responsibility and independent life experiences - for one so young!. ?Www@QuestionHome@Com
The education starts right here!.!.!.right now!. Fine pen!Www@QuestionHome@Com