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Question: Comments about my poem!?!?!?!?!?
"At days End" (revised)

The light goes eerily dim,
as the sun set leaves a queer stillness in the air!.
Its leave streaking shadows across lonely streets!.
Night awaiting under the horizon!.
Its time peaking through the border!.
As i stare blankly
at the truth unfolding before me!.
that sun doesn't set for me!.
It sets for that child in Mexico!.
Roaming the streets
with his boxes of colorful Chiclets!.
Looking where nothing is to be found!.
Living off others sympathy!.
Living off the streets bare plains!.
It sets for that woman waiting on the coasts!.
With watery eyes,
she stares down the endless ocean
waiting for her brave sailor anchoring at shore!.
That sun dosen't hide under that low plane for no reason!.
There has to be a cause!.
Slowly but surely,
as if unaware of its grand importance,
with no emotion whatsoever
the sun sets!.
But as i leave,
to see my family,
to enter my house,
I take one last look
at days end
and i will know for sure,
that sun dosent set for me!.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Wow, racist this poem is not!. I can't believe someone actually said that!. That line was one of the most powerful in the whole poem! Anyway, I really love it!. I think it needs to be cleaned up a little grammatically, but other than that, very well done!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Seems kind of racist when your talking about the mexican child but that is my ignorant opinionWww@QuestionHome@Com