Hi dudes, would you like to review this for me? you know recommend any changes..

Question: Hi dudes, would you like to review this for me!? you know recommend any changes!.!.!.!?

i was bored and this the result!

My heart has split away from me
Running from my head
Has gone to search the universe
Leaving earth for dead

I cannot scream for its return
Nor can I break down
I can only watch the summers pass
Watch winters face frown

My heart

Don’t come here again
Till my tears shroud the rain
Let the stars join the moon
And i will see you soon

thank youWww@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:

For a poem which came about because of boredom you have done well!. It is easy to read and easy to understand, particularly "Till my tears shroud the rain"

Well done O' bored one!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

good imagery
well done!

http://answers!.yahoo!.com/question/index;!.!.!.
please read if u get a chanceWww@QuestionHome@Com

Sounds good to me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com