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Thoughts On My Poem!? "Keys"!?
I wrote this poem & would love some feedback on it, thank you in advance!.
[ Keys ]
You are like a piano,
So beautiful at the touch of a key!.
You are all the keys that play together,
As my stunning symphony!.
And I am like your piano,
As you touch every one of my keys!.
When we begin to play together,
I am as beautiful as you want me to be!.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It's a very beautiful poem, you should get it published!.
It sound like!.!.!. but I'm guessing that's what you ment!.
Don't Let your talent go to waste do something about it!.
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Alaska, I can feel your tone and sensitivity through the verse!. The verse, however, doesn't manifest the full intensity of such tone and sensitivity!. It is very direct e!.g "You are like a piano", "And I am like your piano"!. also its repetitive (redundant); the words: piano, key, play, touch, together, and beautiful are each repeated twice!. That is a lot in comparison w/ the size of the verse!. I'm not saying the verse is bad, but you as a person with such intimacy with music, could 'v made it better!.I like especially the last line, and I really want you to be as beautiful as you can be; and read more of your (poems)!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
That's extremely touching!.!.!. I loved it!. As beautiful as you want me to be!.!.!. that's a fantastic metaphor!.!.!.
Thank you for this, it was beautiful!.!.!. it's true!Www@QuestionHome@Com
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