Position:Home>Poetry> Looking for a quick critique. Any thoughts helpful ^^?
Looking for a quick critique!. Any thoughts helpful ^^!?
Backspace (yes, the one on your keyboard >!.>)
The letters turn backwards and flow up the line
A lesson of loss is left to decline
knowledge forgotten it's time to go on
write down the memory untill it's all gone
Simple pressure and it all goes away
The nearly shown tears from silent dismay
Living in thoughts, emotion writ down
Dream of smiling through a perpetual frown
Never again will these words appear
The moment has passed, it was even sincere
Is it cowardice to watch it's slow pass!?
Just an idea, a fade to it's last!.
Ahem, as you can tell I'm a bit low on ideas, let me know what you think and don't hesitate to throw me a random topic! *begs for inspiration*Www@QuestionHome@Com
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
mediocre I say but to me it sounds like you are forcing it!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I would definitely work on the grammar!. It was kind of confusing to follow the flow of words you were going for!. Don't be afraid to use any grammar you want either- it is your poem!. Other than that I liked your choice of words and the main content!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
write about cement!.!.!.!.!.!. seriously!.!.!. how many poems have you read about cement!.!.!. or just go into a room with alot of stuff in it and close your eyes and pick something up!.!.!. or you can do first thing you see!.!.!. that helps me when im doing a poetry project for schoolWww@QuestionHome@Com
Heh not bad but its hard i wouldn't have gotten it :D
The second paragraph looks like u tried to hard though in the last three sentences!. Thats where it would have thrown me off!.
i bet you're a good writer, huh!?
I can tell!. :DWww@QuestionHome@Com
Not that I'm anywhere near a poetry expert, however, this is very thought provoking!. Which is what you want poetry, or any art, to do!. I like it just as well, if not better, read from bottom to top!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
I like the rhyming, but it's a little bit of a cliché topic!. However, it's full of imagery and emotion!Www@QuestionHome@Com
as a fellow poet!.
i love it!
inspiration is hard to come by these day but keep an open mind and inspiration you will find!.Www@QuestionHome@Com