Position:Home>Poetry> Do you think this is any good?
Do you think this is any good!?
What Will I Do
What will I do when you are not here!?
Will I ever be okay!?
How will I ever stop all these tears!?
How will I get through the day!?
Will I ever get used to being with out you!?
Could it ever be routine!?
Can this sad thing really be true!?
On whose shoulder will I lean!?
To whom will I run to make it alright!?
And, how will I know how to smile!?
How will I get to sleep late at night,
When I need you to hold me awhile!?
How will I live when my life moves away;
When my everything is gone!?
How can you leave when I need you to stay!?
How can my life go on!?
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
I really like it! Especially how you rhyme every other line-- that makes it sound cool when you read it out loud :-P It also has a lot of emotion which is always a good thing with poetry!.
I do like how every line is a question, but the ABAB format truly has been done to death!. =\ Sometimes I even find sonnets sounding dull because they use that very format!. o_o
Truly though, if you really want to use it I recommend finding better, more flowing and more emotional ways to rhyme them!.
While the poem does sound juvenile in a good way, it also seems so in a bad way!. In a good way it helps the reader understand the writer more!.!.!. though it also seems thrown together without much regard toward WHO is speaking!. =\
It has potential, just unlock it!. =)