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What do you think of this possible poem I've written!?
I have an assignment for an English class of mine!. Currently we are studying poetry and my teacher handed out a poem that we were to read, and use the same format but add in our own words and experiences!.!.!.so here's what I have could you read it and tell me what you think!? Mind you, you may recognize the title from another poem, but this one is different with my own words!.!.!.
Where I’m From
I am from warm summer days,
from walking around barefoot!.
I am from a big tree swing in the front yard
(the rope always cutting my palms)!.
I am from the smell of fresh cut grass, and
I’m from “I Love You” and y’all
And “promise not to tell anyone!”
I’m from “jinks you owe me a soda,”
From many hugs and kisses
I’m from “Love is patient, love is kind…”
I am from southern cooking and long brown hair
From Mom cooking dinner every night
I’m from Daddy’s large callused hand holding my small soft one
From Poppy’s tales of how he walked ten miles in the snow to school,
without shoes (and believing every bit of it)!.
and most important of all
I am from moments, moments that I remember the most, moments that
have made an impression in my life!.
I am from a tree, a large tree that extends into the sky
From a tree that can withstand any tragedy and still stand strong!.
From a tree that embraces and loves!.
I am from my family tree!.
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
Yes , it is a beautiful lyrical poem, with nostalgia, pride , and a tree that extends its boughs far in the sky ; a tree that shelters and withstands many a storm of suffering , of embraces, of life , of love !
What I particularly like about your poem, is that on one side you are philosophising like Wordsworth did , and on the other side, yet are so very much, even at present, a part of those favourate haunts, those soothing tales of ten miles in the snow with bare feet, that swing , that grass, those baseball games, that soda, and nay that sweet and carefree love and its kisses !
A poet's business is fundamentally to see, and that you have performed admirably!.
Now comes the dry and dreary desert-sand of the outward expression ; the form , the rhyme , the meter - the accepted family of poetic tree ! Whether it will be accepted by your teacher and your classmates!. Here the exercise given by your teacher is to maintain the same format, with the liberty of your words and your experiences!. If you think this will be acceptable by your peers go ahead and submit as it is!. I for one like its myriad play of colours and variety, and thus will even justify the varied length in lines and in meter!. If you can work and add rhymes it might pass through as a very good poem of the class, worth even publishing!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
It is very graphic it paints a picture the reader can see feel and be part of!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
It's lovely and warm!.
It sounds like you're walking through a country, summer's day!. Www@QuestionHome@Com