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Question: How do you feel!? When!?
-you read this!? Do you think it's good!? What does it convey to you!? Rate it on a 1-10 scale!. Thanks!

This, like everything is slipping!. Far away,
Gone for me!. Not important though, it'd be
Gone for you too!. Waves keep coming,
Keep coming!. Too many!. I took too many,
Can't seem to think!.

Scratching on the floor, hope you find!. Hope
THEY let you see!. I'm sorry, I told lies!. I found
Your secret!. After!. Too late!. You!. You tried to
Protect me!. Ha!. Know now, I didn't listen!.

Spilling, my head!. I couldn't speak if I had to!.
Good that I don't!. But, writing is hard!. Concentrate!.

I love you!. When I said, "If I die, I'll be somewhere
Alone!. Scared!." I lied!. I'll be fine!. Sam, I know I'll
Be fine!. You be fine too!.

This doesn't hurt, just can't feel!. Like sleep!. I
Don't want to move, maybe, I shouldn't!. Maybe,
People will come before!. Hope you don't!. Shouldn't
See me like this!. I made mistake!.

Can't remember why I started, all I think is Sam!.
Don't cry!. I keep here with you!. I know,
Sure of it!. Don't cry, don't forget me!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
It is moving in an eerie sense, you make the reader feel a certain loss but you keep it hidden very well!.
!.!.Dark and heavy I cannot ascribe it a number, as it is in a sense your feelings to which a number cannot be attached!.!.!. Not rhythmic but readable!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

wow, that's the best poem i have read all day!. The way it cuts off in a middle of a sentence makes it sound like your struggling for air when you read it, but that's awesome! I had to read it a few times to pick up the rhythm and unravel it's meaning, i guess only you will ever understand it's true meaning!. You wrote it!.


I like it, it's bleak but emotiveWww@QuestionHome@Com

9!.5! that is great!Www@QuestionHome@Com

i would give it a 7!.
it has a lot of emotion!.
u could improve on it though