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Question: What do you think of my poem!.!.!.!?
!.!.!.to the darkness

As darkness falls, I hear the toll of bells!.
As worthless as I am, I don’t even dis serve the burn of hell!.
This feeling of dread fills my mind, while loneliness grasps my heart once more!.
The inner peace and happiness I so long for, are just beyond my reach!.
As the dark envelopes me, its not this I fear!. I welcome the dark, for here I can cry and be weak, with out judgment!. For here no one can hear me, nor care!. Not that they would!.
Just to be cradled in the arms of some one that would love me!. But, would I sell my soul for this!? Could I sell my soul for this!? Just to have some one!. To hold her tightly as I feel the embrace of her arms around me!. Her warmth extinguishing the cold I’ve felt inside for so long!. Her warming embrace melting the ice that entombed my heart!.
Could I surrender all!? Would I… surrender all!. After all iv been through, as far as I had come, would I give it all up!? …
all I have, is the dark!.
Maybe im meant to be alone!. How could I believe I am worthy of any ones love!? What do I have to offer!? My mind and body feel dead, and no one seems to care!. Maybe in death, I will find the peace, my heart has longed for, for so very long!. To finally be able to just, rest my weary head!.


Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
ok I'm going to be brutal just because your writing is so good!.
Are you a vampire!? "My mind and body feel dead"
You wax on about how worthless you are then complain that nobody cares!. You can't have it both ways!. Why would you be selling your soul to accept someones love!? give what up!?
So, you write clearly, you don't waste words (a big thing with most people) , good verbs, good repetition when needed!.
My suggestion - pick a different topic - third person - write about someone else even if you mean it to be you and get some distance from your own emotions!. Again, I really like your writing style!. I hope this helps!. I wouldn't have bothered if I didn't think you talented!.Www@QuestionHome@Com

I like it but I would lose the questions!. I hate it when writers do that!. P!.s!. some of the lines are in other poems I have heard, (Warmth extinguishing the cold I feel) Overall good!. :)