Position:Home>Poetry> How is this Poem? I wrote it about my friend who recently tried to end her life.
How is this Poem!? I wrote it about my friend who recently tried to end her life!. She's not "pretty" enough!?
Once upon a time,
I used to really care!.
Now I find it hard,
to realize you're even there!.
And once upon a time,
I used to cry for you!.
And now my tears have dissappeared,
What more am I supposed to do!?
I expected more,
And instead you gave me less!.
You **** your life away,
And Threw away your best!.
Now I'm left with a shell of you,
And that's all I'll ever see!.
But sometimes I wonder,
If you were ever a friend to me!?
Will I cry now!?
For the fate you have cursed yourself!?
Or will I merely shrug,
And place your memory on a shelf!?
Damn you for your reluctance,
To trust me to set you free!.
Damn you for turning away,
From the wonderful person you used to be!.
I seem to forget the Old you!.
What transformation did I miss!?
Where is she now!?
Who the Hell is this!?
Honestly I find myself,
Holding up a wall!.
To lean myself upon,
To hazard should I fall!.
You were once my strength,
And now you are my weakness!.
You've turned and walked away,
Into this world of bleakness!.
If you won't help me find you,
Should I walk away!?
If you refuse to hand me a map,
Should I ask again another day!?
Should I even care!?
Will you really die!?
Will I feel like I let you do it,
Will I find the strength to cry!?
Do you really think you lack,
A reason to draw your next breath!?
Since when did you ever consider,
Your only salvation an early death!?
I used to think of you as stronger,
A thunderstorm among raindrops!.
How will we remember you now,
When your heart finally stops!?
Should you choose to leave us now,
Forever you will be known !.!.
As the girl who couldn't withstand the pain
She was forced to endure at home!.
Worse has been seen than you,
And yet you feel this way!.
And I see your eyes grow darker and darker,
With every passing day!.
The light I used to use as guide,
Is steadily trickling out!.
I wish and hope you would realize,
This is not what it's about!.
Insequrities, and tears of pain
Laced with a desire!.
Desire to be accepted !.!.
Worth burning in the fire!?
For now I must ask you!.
Of what they see you for now -
Will that be improved,
When you take your final bow!?
I wish you would remind yourself,
Your opinion is that holds value!.
For until then, you hold inside
The possibility of suicide true!.
Love yourself as I did,
List all of why you take a breath!.
For your outside looks will never improve
With the final kiss of death!.
Believe in what I say,
And ask yourself how !.!.
Look at your face in the mirror!.
Do you look pretty now!?
Best Answer - Chosen by Asker:
This is sad
for you to endure
someone who is planning
to commit suicide You can't prevent this
this is an individual decision
Your friend doing this is not thinking of
anyone but herself!.
If it actually happens a lot of people
will suffer her family!.
Everyone experiences problems
no one is perfect!.
If she is still alive
she needs serious help!.
This is a beautiful poem
you wrote apparently its
about something that should be addressed
in school or with her family!. Www@QuestionHome@Com
very deep i can relate to thisWww@QuestionHome@Com
Roses are red violets are blue
I can rhyme so I'm a poem too!.
Rhymie and forced!.Www@QuestionHome@Com
I can understand the anger that you have at your friend for committing a godless act, but she needs your sensitivity more than ever even thought she was selfish and reckless with her choices and her life!. I'm not saying that you can't be angry, but there are more beautiful ways that you can express yourself without being so volatile! Your angle should have been to plead with her not to take her life without talking to you one last time!. Sometimes we don't think about what we say to someone before they commit suicide because you don't know what someones mindset is like!. That's why I always try to be loving, humble and understanding to people even though they try to make me get upset!. You're so hurt by their death that you don't think straight and you always regret not saying goodbye!. So please have a better mindset and go up to her and give her a hug and tell her how much she means to you!. I will be praying for her to get mentally better!.!.!. She must put God in her life when life on Earth will lead her asunder!. God Love Her with her flaws and imperfections because it is not the physical body he wants!.!.!. Your soul is your real life! Don't let it die buried in Earth's soil, let it live in Heaven forever!.!.!. AmenWww@QuestionHome@Com
You know, it is quite good!. You can tell that you have strong feelings for what you are writing about!. I think you may have used rymes a little too much!. Makes it cliche a bit!. also it is a little judgemental for the reader, but if that is the way you are feeling-dont hold back!.
I liked it!. Keep writing!.
And be there for your friend!. She needs you!.
It's good expression of your feelings!. You seem to have some anger at her - maybe you should talk about it with a counselor or parent!. It's a big deal to watch a friend go through things like that and it's clearly had an effect on you!.Www@QuestionHome@Com